I know that maybe i am putting way too much work on this than i should, given the sircumstances i am currently in, but i just cant help it. I guess making whatever this is distracts me from completely shutting down, and although its not a perfect fix its better than nothing. Another thing is that i have finally created all new accounts but i have no one to add to them. I wanted to start fresh so i should start talkin to new people but being anti social means i can not do that with ease. Anyways, i just dont want to feel like this anymore, i am too tired.
This day has just been a very BIG "why do you keep doing this to yourself". So much so that i have resorted to make a list on what makes me feel ok and what makes me feel like i have a pit deeper than my hate for that one Barbie elephant character, on my stomach. I KNOW it is not healthy but im gonna start leaving when i dont feel like its my place to exist there, no matter how much it hurts. I gotta learn my place and when i am no longer needed.
It my be 3:20 am but i have finally FIGURED THIS SHIT OUT BITCHES.This is hard as balls but i am MANAGING... at least i sure hope i am or else this is gonna be very embarassing. Also quick warning (for 2 very specific people) if u guys ever check this again i am gonna be very mad at you.